沪江考研携手海天教育有奖参赛征文[11]
为了迎接2009考研,沪江考研特别联手海天教育推出"挑战2009考研" 征文活动。本次活动我们准备了丰厚的大奖。那么,请整理整理您的思绪,用文字在这里表达,用文字来呐喊2009年考研成功的决心!为了让大家共同来学习如何写考研作文,我们特别摘选了大赛的参赛作文和老师点评,希望让更多的同学参与到学习中来。同时提醒大家本次大赛还没有结束,请大家快来参加哦^_^
想参赛请点击进入:沪江考研携手海天教育举办有奖征文活动入口>>>
大赛作文题目:
Directions:
Study the following bar chart carefully and write an essay in which you should
1) describe the bar chart,
2) state the meaning and
3) put forward your position.
You should write about 160-200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.
[参赛作品11](mingmeishang)
谢谢老师点评 我也发现字数太多.因为第一段分析勉强牵扯进数据.反而冗长.因为想避免头重脚轻(我以前一直的毛病)第二段越写越繁.这次修改后.老师再看下吧..谢咯.
When it comes to the ideal professional standards, colleage students hold their own ideas. According to the bar chart, it is not difficult for us to find that the stability and salary of a job are seriouly taken into consideration, while ignoring personal development.
What leads to this situation? There are, to my mind, plenty of contributing causes, among which the following ones are particularly worth mentioning. Firstly, the job is thought as a tool used to make a living rather than to win merits for oneself. Secondly, we live in a materialistic society and are taught early on to be realistic. It is unavoidable to seek for security from future jobs. Moreover, I might also cite individual characters as a reason.
From my standpoint, it is rational to consider the stability and high salary, which pave the way to comfortable life, as two of the important factors in choosing a job. Simultaneously, it is also necessary for us to think over our interests and future development, which can lead to happy and colourful life. After all, happiness is the foundation of the life.
>" src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/32502.gif" border=0 mce_src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/32502.gif">>" src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/26508.gif" border=0 mce_src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/26508.gif">>" src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/52955.gif" border=0 mce_src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/52955.gif">>" src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/71602.gif" border=0 mce_src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/71602.gif">>" src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/11087.gif" border=0 mce_src="http://i1.w.hjfile.cn/doc/200811/11087.gif">
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