名师帮你修改考研英语作文（10）

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第一篇（wimtt123）

范文：

From the picture, we can see clearly that our Earth is suffering from "lung cancer" caused by environmental pollution. Its deteriorating condition is threatening all forms of life, pushing them to the edge of extinction. Just as is vividly depicted, continents that used to be covered by green life now turn deadly black.
The damage to the natural environment began(begins) as early as the arrival of industrilization. While abundant products are offered to the society, industrialization also brings the side effect of all forms of pollution. Moreover,human exploitation(the overuse) of natural resources has caused destruction that is far beyond our imagination.Currently the ecosystem is on the verge of collapse, while the population of mankind is still increasing steadily and uncontrollably. More unfortunately, human beings seem are addicted to industrial production and material wealth but are hardly aware of the potential dangers.
We must realize thatwe are neither (neither we are) the master of the Earth, nor should we become the slaves of the advanced technology. Man and nature are supposed to coexist in great harmony.Without changing (if do not chang ) our negative attitude towards nature, humans will face a fatal destiny. To briefly conclude, economic development should not be achieved at the cost of our Earth's "health".

点评:固定句型的运用很好,文章的大体框架和思路也比较准确.但是在长句型的运用中,句子的形式比较乱,反而不如多加入短句型的运用,使文章更清楚.